So What's Next?

So, today wasn't the best day. Despite the fact that I am supposed to be recovered I did spend most of the day in "discomfort" (as the doctor's like to say, that would be pain to you and me). But during my lay-in today, I have had lots of time to think. The question that keeps popping up is "So what's next?"

Now that motherhood is off the table, I have to rethink my future. I think I may like to go back to school. Or maybe start a business. All I know is whatever it is that I am going to do, I have to get started. I can't keep going on this way. Inaction. I have been living with inaction out of necessity for the last year. Every ounce of energy saved was necessary in my struggle to function as an ill person. But I have to reclaim my life! I want to start living again...like a normal person. No one knows the quiet struggle that I have gone through...That's beside the point. I have had to put a lot of things down, and now it is time to go back and find them again.

I am not sure, though, if at 41 it is too late. Should I just settle for where I am at right now, and just enjoy? Or, should I continue to work and struggle toward something more? If the answer is yes to the later, the next question is "toward what?" Education, instructional Design, Web Design, Small Business. I am not sure what direction to start moving in.

I guess the first thing I need to do is clear my mind. So, a good spring cleaning is in order! Because God love my husband, but we all know that husbands don't clean so well, especially during football and basketball season. (oh, and that would be most of the year, :P) So I am going to start by cleaning my house. No, really. A good house cleaning usually makes my mind nice and clear and gives me the space to think. Step-by-step, room-by-room, day-by-day.

Wish me Luck!